#Nightmares

Okay, i have nightmares a lot…..they get pretty bad and intense. It gets to the point where i truly believe that its reality and even when i wake up im scared to open my eyes. What makes it worse is that when i wake up if my alarm isnt going off, its dead set quiet. Emphasis on dead. You might think its silly and whatnot, but to me its not. My boyfriend knows that they get pretty bad, so when were sleeping together (not sexually) he makes me wake him up. Its so damn scary. I need help over coming these damn nightmares. Honestly though, i dont think it’ll work. Thats my life. Unfair.

~The Scaredy cat girl

#Pain

How many of you hate pain? Yeah..same here. You know who else i hate…my step mom. Im disappointed in my dad, he cant stand up for himself. It gets annoying. She walks all over him!

I get it woman, you dont like my boyfriend. Heres the deal…you dont have to. I love him and thats all that matters. So shush it! You telling me that ‘He doesnt give a f*** about me’…HAH jokes on you! He blizzing asked me to marry him! Hah what now biotch. Hes the only one who helps me. Even though…for me..this picture is true. Except i do it on my hips, not wrists. Otherwise i get caught. Im smart about this. When do i do it? At night time. After i go to sleep.

Today, my boyfriend…’ Dear, i really dont want you to keep cutting. Just call me and if your step mom wont let you please just be a tough cookie for me’. I agreed. This is gunna be difficult.

Damn, i love him.

Heavenly Confused at Hell..

My boyfriend. The one I was supposed to marry. My first love. I left him. He didn’t leave me. I left him. At first, he did leave. He came back, but me. I left. I’m okay. I have a date this Saturday. I’m truly excited. Also nervous. I’m not sure if I wanna completely leave who was my future fiancé. I feel terrible. Fiancé guy isn’t taking this well.
I’m confused, I wanna go on this date so bad. Am I done with fiancé guy? I dunno. Am I gunna have fun Saturday? Probably.
GRRRRR…..

~Heartbreaker Bi’otch

#BreakupsAreTough

#Really?!

#Hurt

#MyFather

He’s always been there for me. Thanks for letting me just cry into you last night. Thanks for being understanding and trying to help me through this. I Love You Dad. Thanks, truly for everything you’ve done for me ❤

#AmericaSong

‘Eenie meanie miney mo, each one of yous gunna know that your time is coming soo cause there ain’t enough room in this world for us to yeah I hate to break the news, but ima break it in this music to let the world know who. Who you’ve been using who you’re abusing.’

I Loved You…with All My Heart And Soul…you ruined that. Break up with me but then say it’s my choice if we stay together or not? How the hell does that make sense?! It doesn’t. I’m hurting, so bad right now. You told me…you made promises. You broke that. You destroyed me. What am I going to do?

#Grrr

This picture represents anger…hence fires associated with the emotion of fire. So yeah.

My guy was supposed to come over tonite, but no. NOW he can’t. Seriously, I’m so pissed. He’s always the one who’s bitching about how much he misses me and how bad he wants to see me. My dad was actually the one who asked if I wanted him to come over. God, I’m so pissed! I mean, yeah I haven’t really seen him lately and I do miss him. Nope. He can’t, doesn’t even give me a reason.

To me it feels like he’s starting to slowly back away, like pushing me away. Then I get all confused because last night, what does he say? ” I love you so much. With all of my heart.” Then this morning I get a message saying ” Hey love. I can’t come over today.” I message him back and yet again of course…no answer.

Sometimes I wonder about cheating, but he’s SO against that I can’t even truly believe it if I can imagine it.

This relationship has a lot of stress on ME. Step-mom didn’t like him. He hates my parents. He’s all up in a college environment in the dorms. Maybe I can’t have a true relationship with him. Maybe….Ya know…I don’t even really know!

Also, maybe I’m just overly emotional cause hey..I’ll be honest. I got my monthly gift today…so maybe that’s part of it.

Seriously, just Gr!

#Eventually